Every day we say about our tefillin, “V’haya lcha los al yadecha – And it should be for a sign upon your hand.”  From this verse, the Gemora in Masechtas Menachos exponds, “As a sign for you – and not for others.”  From here we see that tefillin shel yad, the hand/arm tefillin, should be covered by your clothing so that it should not be visible to others.  On the other hand, about the tefillin shel rosh, the head tefillin, the posuk says, V’rau kol amei ha’aretz, ki Shem Hashem nikrah alecha v’yaru memeka – And all the people of the land will see the Name of Hashem upon you and they will be in awe of you.”  This refers to the tefillin of the head, of which we say, “V’hoyu l’totafos bein einecha – For frontlets ‘between’ your eyes,” which are in full view of everyone.

My great rebbe, Rav Moshe Feinstein, Zt”l, Zy”a, asks, why Hashem tells us to keep hidden the tefillin shel yad while He has us expose the tefillin shel rosh.  He gives a very fundamental answer.  He explains that before we can be mashpia, influence,others, we must first privately absorb Torah values, as represented by our tefillin, in our own hearts for ourselves.  Only then can we hope to have an effect on anyone else.  Therefore, before we put on the tefillin shel rosh for everyone else to see, we first put the tefillin shel yad on the left hand opposite the heart (which is on the left side).  This is in order to first integrate the lessons of the tefillin into our hearts (by putting it on our hands) and only then do we put it upon our head – to impact others.  This is the very great lesson of, “K’shot atzmecha va’achar kach kshot acheirim – Beautify yourself first and only then attempt to beautify others.”  Or, as chazal teach us, “Devorim hayotziim min halev, nichnosin l’lev – Matters that come from the heart can penetrate other people’s hearts.

This has many ramifications.  A parent who wants to succeed at the vital task of chinch habonim has to first be hartzig, passionate, about the matter that he or she is trying to teach in order to be successful at scoring with one’s child.  As we say in Krias Shma, “V’hoyu hadevorim ha’eile asher Anochi mitavecha hayom al levovecha – And it will be when these matters that I command to you today are upon your heart,” only then will you succeed at, “Vishinantom levonecha – Teaching them to your children.”

The great Reb Yakov Kamenesky, Zt”l, Zy”a, explains that this is why the Hebrew word for ‘influencing’ is mashpia, for the root of mashpia is shefa, a slope.  This is because chincuh has a trickle-down effect, trickling down from our own behavior and feelings.  Reb Moshe said sadly that many of the people who kept Shabbos during the challenging times of the Great Depression sadly did not succeed in imparting lasting Yiddishkeit to their children.  This was because, although they nobly kept Shabbos themselves, they did so with a krechtz, a groan and a sigh.

It is only with a heart of simcha that our great traditions can be transmitted for, like it says, “Uliyishrei lev simcha – Those with a straight heart have joy,” it is they who succeed in influencing their children to follow in the footsteps of Torah and mitzvos.  We need to have a wholesome, healthy, and spiritual radioactivity.  Our children have the sense whether we really believe that Hashem is listening to our prayers and that our tefilos really help.  They must feel a change in our demeanor when we walk into shul in order to convey to them proper decorum.  And, they must experience, as if by osmosis, and not just by verbal demand, the importance we attach to the study of Torah.

How important this equation is for our rebbeim and moros!  It is absolutely vital that they are enthusiastic about what they teach.  Our children sense whether their rebbe or teacher is just going through the motions to make a living or to just get thru the day, and if it is the latter, it will not leave a lasting Torah impact upon their precious students.  On the other hand, Rav Belsky, Shlit”a, said that while Reb Yakov Kamenesky was not one of his main rebbeim, he quoted him often because whatever he heard from Reb Yakov he never forgot.  This is because something that comes from a pure heart penetrates very deeply.  There are people who, as soon as they see new Torah thought, quickly pass it along to others.  To have a lasting impact, we need to internalize the lesson first.  The great Shinova Rebbe , son of the Divrei Chaim, said somewhat caustically about someone that was always giving many Torah lectures, “Aidi d’tarach l’miflat, lo mivla – He is so busy giving out that he doesn’t absorb.”

May it be the will of Hashem that we succeed in refining ourselves and with our heightened spiritual radioactivity may we affect many others in all kinds of good ways, and in that merit my Hashem bless us with long life, good health, and everything wonderful.